Too much Junk Email? – No Safe Bets

Just unsubscribe you knit

Look at the email body,

And look for the unsubscribe button,

Here’s an example from an email from Linkedin;

Scroll to the bot,
click button to stop receiving better job opportunities,
Slowly waste away at your current job,
Profit

Some other examples;

You might have to *gasp* read a little-
to find the fabled button

Sometimes, your email will offer you an unsubscribe button near the top,

-hotmail example
-Gmail example

Fucking click it, and you should be unsubscribed.

If it has you go down a rabbit hole, well, I am not responsible nor do I want to help you get out of it. So grow a brain will ya? And FIT-FO yourself (Figure it the fuck out) Good luck,

You can even manage subscriptions;

Hotmail, and some others, have a cool feature where you can look at all the jazz you are signed up to;

As a precaution

Before you start clicking random links to Grannie porn, hear me out here’s me out here,

Some hackers or tricksters or scammers (like me) might get smart and make a false unsubscribe button for a fishing scam

So, if you are receiving an email or promotion from a sketchy email address, improper spelling, improper grammar, or anything sus

I wouldn’t hit that unsubscribe button,

Instead, report it as phishing using your email’s protocols or procedures for reporting, like so;

hotmail for yuuz, Just a yuz a righta- clicka
Gmail for ya smoothie brain,

Side talk on the side walk, I don’t use Apple products, or have a Chase Bankie account, so any emails about Apple or Chase Bankie is automatically a phishing attempt when I receive those emails. So I label them phishing right away. Not a problem, forget about it.

Don’t risk clicking the unsubscribe button, that’s how you get STDs for your security, identity, or cum-pew-tah

With great power, comes great ability to fuck shit up

Remember that, I know I won’t

In Closing,

Unwanted email is shit in this age, this age of being sold rotten promises, which is a fairly better age than bronze, lemme tell ya. These tips and not-valid advice will help you reduce future potentialities and opportunities, meaning you’ll just not have to deal with chaos or opportunities to buy new shit or get a new job or whatever-the-fuck.

This will Undoubtably, save money (gross) and also make you more focused and not side tracked by annoyances and minor hinderances that you planned on ignoring anyway.

It’s already bad enough having all the Credit-rainbow companies trying to upsell me on a used hooker via Snail Mail,

Well, here’s another link to unsubscribe from credit reporting agencies so you can stop receiving loan offers, mortgage shits, and bankie farts;

Opt Out Pre Screen

Just know that it updates quarterly, and it’s probably shit. – – – Probably.

Also, if you’re interested, you can also put your phone number on a Do-Not-Call registry. Hell, if some one solicits you, you can even sue them in small claims court and get some money out of it. The bounty ranges from a couple hundred to one or two thousand depending.

So, you know, you get money while fleecing the fleecer,

It’s a win-win in my book

And as a bookie, I always run a racket so you know the books are pencil whipped and gun-deckedcompletely and honestly accurate.

That’s totally a safe bet,

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

Author: Elsie Hughes