3 Ways to save money on Gas – No Safe Bets

These are three no brainer ways to save money on gas, because for some reason a gallon of gas is the price of a meal. So you either eat or drive around for a little bit.

Turns out, the economy and shit is all fucked.

Who knows what and why.

All I know is, I’m going to give you no-brainer no-nonsense and not-valid advice on how YOU can save money on gas. Most of this advice is relying on not using gas. Actually, all of the advice actually requires you to reduce your gas consumption.

Advice like;

Lose weight, you fat fuck

This thing?
You want to have a credit score?
Start by pumping this number to your sub-optimal height BMI

Turns out, The rate of acceleration of your vehicle is proportional to torque conversion and the weight it has to torque over.

Your car burns gas in a combustion to push a cylinder to use force to turn a shaft to move your wheels and shit. That amount of force required to move your wheels is proportional to the drag and weight and other forces acting on it keeping it at a static rest. Thus you need higher break-away torque if you have more weight on your car. You also need higher amounts of torque to accelerate, and you wear down on your brake pads more when you decelerate via braking due to momentum.

So all around, more weight makes your car work harder. It’s like having a tub of lard and running or stopping, you know, like when you go out on a jog. It’s all about the weight and force and physics.

Meaning, if you have more weight in your car, then it’s going to have to burn more gas to get to speed.

So, clean out your dirty car and make it lighter weight. The easiest way to do this is to make you less fat. Just lose weight.

If you weigh less, then your car will accelerate faster and also have to apply less foot pounds of torque, meaning it’ll burn less gas. So you’ll need less gas meaning you save money.

It’s physics, duh.

Walk, you fat fuck

If you decide to just walk to places to and fro, and maybe take a couple trips to the grocery store for small items, then maybe you wouldn’t need to spend money on gas.

Just get a job where you can work from home, or just become homeless and roam wherever. Who needs work when you don’t need money for bills and shit? You save so much money by not having to work for it, just think about it…

See, walking is literally free for like most two legged people. If you don’t have some sort of condition or issue, than walk you fat fuck.

If you do have a condition or issue, then you have bigger things to worry about than stupid trivialities like ‘gas’.

Duh.

Sell your car, you fat fuck

Without a car, you won’t need gas -unless you subscribed your family and future generations to the torturous Sisyphean task of mowing grass with a gas mower. If not, then you won’t need gas.

Thus, you save money.

You also save money by not having to pay for insurance and associated auto maintenance, and other fees like registration and other bullshit environmental shit made to tax you more.

So, you save an ass whack of money by simply not having a car. That’s an all around win.

Gas Prices? Won’t apply to you anymore.

Who gives a fuck? Not you, you car-less Heathen you.

In Closing,

I’m technically right, Ya fat fuck. Regardless if you are fat, and regardless if you are a fuck.

Here’s an online quote about bicycles or some shit;

“Bicycle is the slow death of the planet.”

A banker made the economists think this when he said:

“A cyclist is a disaster for the country’s economy: he doesn’t buy cars and doesn’t borrow money to buy. He don’t pay insurance policies. Don’t buy fuel, don’t pay to have the car serviced, and no repairs needed. He doesn’t use paid parking. Doesn’t cause any major accidents. No need for multi-lane highways.

He is not getting obese.

Healthy people are not necessary or useful to the economy. They are not buying the medicine. They dont go to hospitals or doctors.

They add nothing to the country’s GDP.

“On the contrary, each new McDonald’s store creates at least 30 jobs—actually 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 dietitians and nutritionists—obviously as well as the people who work in the store itself.”

PS: walking is even worse. Pedestrians don’t even buy a bicycle!

~ Emeric Sillo

Don’t take things personally, and this is obviously a shit post that’s actually backed with facts.

As always,

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

Author: Elsie Hughes